phaefner

A passionate lifelong fox hunter calls for help when a new equine partner challenges her confidence in the field. A woman starts riding again after raising her family and experiences anxiety and fear that she has never felt before. A seasoned competitor is shaken by a seemingly innocuous fall (one of hundreds she has taken in her lifetime) and then experiences crippling anxiety in the jumping arena. These scenarios are a small sample of some of the requests for help that we receive regularly.

When asked if I can help, the answer is always surely. I am happy to do whatever I can to help riders find their way back to their joy of riding and competing. I often share that I have a pretty big toolbox of strategies and techniques that I have honed and developed over the years. But, in all honesty, the most powerful help I have to offer grew out of my observations of the patterns that I saw in the riders that I worked with over the years.

What I noticed is that in every situation I could identify a concern in one or more of five areas: motivation, goals, resources, risk, or relationships. Sometimes the issue was circumscribed to one or two of these areas. However, more often than not, the issue was in how these factors aligned in their equine activities. We can all imagine the problems that arise when we have high motivation and lofty goals but few resources such as time, money or appropriate resources. Or, the challenges we face when, with a lifetime of skill and experience, circumstances change like growing older or starting a family and we don’t consider how the impact of the very real risks in our sport change with the circumstances.

What I love about what I now call the Pillars of Progress is that they are straight forward and accessible to everyone. Yet, in a way similar to foundational horsemanship, there is a deep richness to what they have to offer us in or equestrian pursuits. A richness that can be mined and actively used to support us throughout our equestrian life if we are willing to invest in learning about ourselves through the lens of the Pillars. By reflecting on and seeking alignment among the five Pillars of Progress we greatly increase the likelihood of making good choices for ourselves and overcoming the challenges we face in our riding.

We want everyone to have access to this powerful perspective. We want everyone to be able to use the Pillars of Progress perspective as a foundation for their decision making. This is also a tool that is valuable for trainers and instructors by providing them with a framework for understanding where riders might get stuck and helping them develop helpful and effective plans in moving forward.

Join us for our upcoming virtual course Pillars of Progress. Take a deep dive into understanding the Pillars and finding the kind of alignment that will serve as a solid foundation in your horsemanship journey for years to come. ~ Paul

📸 Erin Gilmore // Erin Gilmore Photography

As riders we make upwards of 35,000 decisions each day. Many of those decisions, about our riding and our horses, are made automatically without conscious consideration. In 25+ years of helping riders overcome their personal challenges in their riding, I have identified 5 essential areas of consideration that contribute to every problem and are ultimately THE FOUNDATION OF EVERY SOLUTION. The goal of this 4-part course is to teach you how to use the Five Pillars of Progress and empower each of you to use the pillars in making good decisions for yourself that allow you to safely make progress toward your goals.

I have been teaching riders The Five Pillars of Progress for over 20 years. This framework provides a foundation for riders to make better decisions for themselves. It is especially helpful when people begin to have issues or problems in their riding and their relationship with their horses. When riders intentionally consider each pillar and revisit the Pillars of Progress often, they are empowered to overcome their challenges. This short course is designed to both challenge and support you on your horsemanship journey. We are excited to share this powerful perspective with you and guide you in ways to use it effectively. Check it out here – Pillars of Progress ~ Paul

📸 Erin Gilmore // Erin Gilmore Photography

Last weekend we launched our new instructor training course, “The Art and Science of Teaching and Learning: Skills and Strategies for Teaching the Modern Rider.” It was a fabulous weekend. As a group we shared our frustrations and victories, we laughed and maybe leaked a tear or two, we learned, and we played with new ideas and strategies for tackling our most difficult challenges. By the end I was exhausted in the best of ways. And, I was profoundly grateful and excited to hear that so many in our group found deep value in the experience.

As I sit with my coffee this morning, I got to thinking about how this all came together. The majority of the content for the weekend has been in my head and heart for many many years. A lot of what we taught is simply an integral part of the way I view the world and conduct myself in my practice. For decades I have possessed the knowledge, skill, and experience to teach something like this. Yet, I never even imagined it. So… how was this born and how did it grow.

I think the core spark came from our community of connections and an openness to be of service. I am not talking about the kind of service where we decide what everyone needs and how we want to serve them. I am talking about the kind of service that comes from openness and listening. I remember several years ago being invited to a meeting of the USEA’s coaching certification program committee. I expected to be asked about how I might contribute to the instructors’ toolbox of mental skills and other traditional sport psychology strategies. What I heard was a profound interest in helping instructors become better teachers and grow in the understanding of their students and how their students learn. I thought… I can do that.

I had never considered how valuable my years of assessment and treatment of learning differences would contribute to the world of riding instruction. Looking back, I realize how blind I was to what I could contribute. It was the act of being open and listening to what others in my community needed that unlocked my imagination and potential.

That may have been the spark but it was our team and supporters at Riding Far that tended the fire. I remember coming back from my first presentation at USEA’s educational symposium. I was telling Justin about the talk and he thought it was cool. He asked how long it would take to turn that into a course or clinic. In that instant, I realized it would be a matter of minutes to outline a course. Our instructor clinic was born with the help and hard work of everyone on our team.

You will often hear me say that people are the worst judges of their own progress. We tend to focus on the set-backs and forget the steps forward. I am beginning to think that we are also the worst judges of our ability to contribute. Left to our own devices, we are often blind to how our talents, skills, and experience can benefit others.

It is in our relationships and genuine connection to others that we can hear the invitation. So I leave you today with an invitation of my own. Connect. Love. Listen. When you hear the call from your community take the risk to answer it. It is my heartfelt belief that responding in this way will deepen your connection to your community and open many more doors that you were blinded to while on our own.

~ Paul

📸 Erin Gilmore // Erin Gilmore Photography

There is a lot of talk these days, in almost every setting, of the value of breath work. There are numerous breathing techniques which function to lower a persons activation or help a person regulate their emotions. There is deep breathing, 4-7-8 breathing, spot focus breathing, diaphragmatic breathing, box breathing, and many other variations. I teach these methods regularly to help people center and calm themselves in the midst of anxiety and panic, or to help them in high pressure performance situations.

Earlier this week I was driving home and I took a deep breath. My wife asked, “What was that?” Typically I would respond that I was letting go of something; tension from the day, a momentary stress, or a challenging ride. This day I realized that I was amping myself up. I was using my breath to “stay in the game.”

Every one has a default place they go when they are stressed by the world. Many people quickly go to activation or anxiety which helps them motivate them to act. My youngest son is like that. I don’t think he has ever missed a deadline in his life. I am different. My default is withdrawal from the world, finding ways to depress or numb my feelings. As a result, I am more of a procrastinator.

Back to the deep breath that day. We have a lot of good things going on at Riding Far. We have clients and clinics and courses in development. We have multiple irons in the fire. All of this is extremely exciting and… you guessed it, stressful. My personal challenge is not to manage my anxiety. It is to stay activated, stay anxious. I work to become comfortable with my anxiety, or at least tolerate it, so I can continue to get things done. In that moment, I drew a breath to raise my energy and activation…to stay in the game.

Breath is powerful. Use it well. Use it to calm yourself. Use it to regulate yourself. Use it to activate and sustain your efforts. Use it to stay in the game. ~ Paul

Have you every been in a lesson and found yourself distracted, down on yourself, anxious, or afraid?  I think that all of have been there to one degree or another.  What I would love for you to reflect on is the question, “In those moments, how available were you to taking in new information and learning?” There is a tipping point for each of us.  As our feelings get stronger there is a moment where those feelings shut down our ability to think, as well as our curiosity, interest, and outward attention. 

This process is natural and is not a cause for concern if we have the understanding and tools to effectively deal with our negative thoughts and feelings, and bring our learning selves back on line.  I have written at length in the past about personal strategies to regulate strong emotions.  They include skills and practices like breath work, mindfulness, imagery, resourcing, reframing, and many more. However, today I don’t necessarily want to speak to the riders.  Rather, I want to address, or rather support, the instructors and trainers.

It occurred to me decades ago that the vast majority of riding instructors never receive any formal training in the science and art of teaching.  Instead, they struggle through, using trial and error. They get some support from colleagues, usually around the most difficult teaching situations. Yet, mostly it is sink or swim. Over the years, I have enjoyed providing support to instructors by talking through difficult teaching situations, helping them better understand the nature of their students, and providing them strategies designed to help their students learn.

Recently, I had the honor of presenting on this topic to the USEA Instructor Certification Program’s educational symposium.  My talk was focused on opening a window or two that would guide these instructors to essential information, helping them elevate their teaching and their student’s experiences. One of those windows was on creating positive learning environments and a culture which promotes psychological safety.

A positive learning environment and psychological safety are essential. They are essential because without them many, if not most, of our students will be unavailable for learning. We are all born with an innate drive for safety and security, as well as a drive for curiosity, exploration, and play. When we feel threatened, our drive for safety and security wins out every time.  The way it does this is by shutting down the parts of our brain that support our curiosity and are essential for learning. 

There is long standing attitude in our sport where verbal abuse, yelling, and screaming masquerade as lessons in toughness. The ability to tolerate this aggression is seen somehow as a badge of honor. Some might argue that they learned to ride well in this culture. My argument would be that if they learned to ride well, they learned despite this culture rather than because of it.

As an instructor, if you want your students to succeed and get the most out of their lessons and other learning experiences with you, invest in your stable’s culture.  Create an environment in which students are respected, valued, and connected to something larger than themselves.  This investment will pay off in spades. Your students will be eternally grateful. As a student, we can help our teachers understand what we need to stay win the right side of that tipping point, keep our curiosity and learning brain online, and make sure that we are available to learn.

~ Paul