The summer before I started graduate school, I spend many afternoons siting in the hospital with my namesake and grandfather, Paul Kern. He had bone cancer and his body was dying. That summer was the most beautiful and excruciatingly painful time of my life. There were quiet times of shared silence. Times where I reread our favorite Louis L’Amour westerns aloud. Times when I comforted him in his pain. TImes where I shed silent tears of grief.
We lost Vortex this weekend. We first met him as he flew off a stock trailer with several other Nokotas fresh off the plains of North Dakota back in 2014. He had a presence and energy that was wild, vibrant and pure. He Joined our herd several years later. His relationship with Justin in the years that followed is Justin’s to tell. What I can say is that Vortex lived up to his name. Not as a destructive force. Rather, a collector of the world’s energy, organizing it in a clear and powerful way. He was a central spirit in the whole herd, human and horse alike.
I watched Vortex and Justin grow their relationship. We talk a lot about complex systems and opening channels of communication. I got to watch that happen in real time as Vortex taught Justin and Justin stumbled his way forward. In the end, their relationship was a beautiful thing to watch. And, when I watch Justin with young or confused or frightened horses, I can see the echo of Vortex in him.
It is one of my greatest honors to channel the quiet, patient, and loving spirit of my Grandfather, to share his spirit with others so that they might experience the same loving acceptance I experienced as a child and young man. We aspire to honor Vortex in the same way, to share his gift of organizing the energy of our relationships and make meaningful ripples in the universe. ~ Paul
#SportPsychology #equestriansportpsych #Equestrian #grief #loss #vortex #spiritguide
PC – Erin Gilmore Photography
