I entered a show ring for the first time in well over 12 years last Saturday. As the event approached I was reflective and paid close attention to my experience and how it has changed from the experiences of a younger me. It has been a rich reflection that has given rise to a number of emotions and insights. But, before I share a few here, I want to first express my gratitude to Justin for inspiring me to step back into the ring, Maleina and Selena for all their support in getting us ready, and Stephanie Jennings for her expert and enthusiastic coaching and encouragement.
So what did I learn…
When I was young, my horse was “crazy” and I was ill-equipped to deal with it. I never came home with ribbons (unless that classes were really small). What I loved was the camaraderie and connection to my barn mates. It gave me a place to belong. Later, I found mentors that helped me help my horse. It meant moving away from my childhood crew. After that I started winning but, the satisfaction was not in the ribbon but rather in my horse’s transformation.
In my 30’s I started showing again. I had another project horse but something was different this time. Somehow knowing that I had more tools for helping my horse shifted the focus to winning. I remember that the ribbons became more important and the goals more ambitious. Of course, I was humbled when my horse developed an intermittent explosive bucking disorder which sent me on a search for knowledge and understanding from corners of the horse world I had yet to explore.
My 40’s were spent studying the horse. And, I have to say I found great satisfaction in this time in my life. I found community in my search for knowledge, skill and experience. My horses grew to be connected partners. I was able to share what I learned with my sons. It filled so many holes in my own training and experience. As I learned and grew, I became restless because I realized, more now than ever before, how much I didn’t know and still had to learn. I dabbled in a few shows. Enjoyed the competition (Yes, I am quite competitive). But, I yearned for more.
The most recent decade has been the richest. Sure, my adventures fox hunting and trail riding and training have been a blast. Yet, the greatest satisfaction has been the richness of my growing community of connections at a time in my life where I can appreciate the full range of what they have to offer; friendship, encouragement, inspiration, knowledge, support, and yes… healthy and robust competition.
Each day I work with riders struggling with competition nerves. So often they focus on this hated negative feeling, working to make it go away. There is a part of me that knows that, if I could only get them to broaden their focus and connect to the larger experience, if I could help them focus on the parts of the experience that brings them joy, the worries of the day might melt away and leave them with that winning feeling no matter what the color of the ribbons won. ~ Paul
PC – Carla Callahan (Thanks Carla)
I entered a show ring for the first time in well over 12 years last Saturday. As the event approached I was reflective and paid close attention to my experience and how it has changed from the experiences of a younger me. It has been a rich reflection that has given rise to a number of emotions and insights. But, before I share a few here, I want to first express my gratitude to Justin for inspiring me to step back into the ring, Maleina and Selena for all their support in getting us ready, and Stephanie Jennings for her expert and enthusiastic coaching and encouragement.
So what did I learn…
When I was young, my horse was “crazy” and I was ill-equipped to deal with it. I never came home with ribbons (unless that classes were really small). What I loved was the camaraderie and connection to my barn mates. It gave me a place to belong. Later, I found mentors that helped me help my horse. It meant moving away from my childhood crew. After that I started winning but, the satisfaction was not in the ribbon but rather in my horse’s transformation.
In my 30’s I started showing again. I had another project horse but something was different this time. Somehow knowing that I had more tools for helping my horse shifted the focus to winning. I remember that the ribbons became more important and the goals more ambitious. Of course, I was humbled when my horse developed an intermittent explosive bucking disorder which sent me on a search for knowledge and understanding from corners of the horse world I had yet to explore.
My 40’s were spent studying the horse. And, I have to say I found great satisfaction in this time in my life. I found community in my search for knowledge, skill and experience. My horses grew to be connected partners. I was able to share what I learned with my sons. It filled so many holes in my own training and experience. As I learned and grew, I became restless because I realized, more now than ever before, how much I didn’t know and still had to learn. I dabbled in a few shows. Enjoyed the competition (Yes, I am quite competitive). But, I yearned for more.
The most recent decade has been the richest. Sure, my adventures fox hunting and trail riding and training have been a blast. Yet, the greatest satisfaction has been the richness of my growing community of connections at a time in my life where I can appreciate the full range of what they have to offer; friendship, encouragement, inspiration, knowledge, support, and yes… healthy and robust competition.
Each day I work with riders struggling with competition nerves. So often they focus on this hated negative feeling, working to make it go away. There is a part of me that knows that, if I could only get them to broaden their focus and connect to the larger experience, if I could help them focus on the parts of the experience that brings them joy, the worries of the day might melt away and leave them with that winning feeling no matter what the color of the ribbons won. ~ Paul
PC – Carla Callahan (Thanks Carla)
