Train Tracks

The other day, a client called and asked if I had time to talk. They were having a particularly difficult day and hoped for a brief reset to gain some perspective. On tough days like that, it can feel like we’re on a runaway train. We may not like where we’re headed, but trains travel on tracks, and it often seems like we have little choice in the matter.

There’s an old saying: “If you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station. The longer you wait, the more expensive the return trip will be.” However, this requires us to recognize that we’re on the wrong train, find a station where we can disembark, and slow the train enough to step off safely.

Throughout my career, I’ve helped people find their way off runaway trains. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that to assist someone effectively, I can’t be on the same set of tracks. If I jump onto their tracks and get lost in their perspective, one of two things inevitably happens: I either get run over or sucked into riding their train with them. Neither outcome is particularly helpful.

So, what do you do when a student is struggling during a lesson? How can you help them slow their proverbial train or change tracks? The most critical step is to stay on your own set of tracks. This is what experienced trainers do when working with a troubled horse. They maintain their calm, trust in the process, and rely on their experience. They avoid getting caught up in the emotional energy of the horse.

Your train should be powered by knowledge, experience, and confidence that you can guide your student safely through the crisis. 

My advice? Build your tracks before you need them. Invest in yourself by working on staying grounded and improving your emotional regulation. Additionally, invest in understanding your students—how they learn, how emotions function, and a set of skills you can share to help them regulate themselves.

As you grow, you’ll develop a process you can trust. Then, you can invite your students to join you on your set of tracks.

Photo by Neelkamal Deka on Unsplash