Advice for Riding Instructors: Helping Students Regulate Emotions

As a riding instructor, you have a unique opportunity to guide your students not only in mastering their riding skills but also in managing their emotions. One powerful concept can help you and your students navigate challenging moments in and out of the saddle: You are not what you feel. This simple idea can spark profound change, empowering your students to stay grounded when emotions run high.

When a student is struggling—perhaps feeling overwhelmed by frustration after a difficult ride or anxious about an upcoming competition—it’s easy for them to become consumed by those emotions. In those moments, their feelings can seem to define their entire experience, even who they are. As their instructor, you can help them step back and regain control by teaching them to separate themselves from their emotions.

Practical Steps to Help Students Regulate Emotions

1. Introduce the Concept of the Observing Self
   Teach your students that they are not their emotions. Encourage them to practice observing their feelings without judgment, much like they observe their horse’s behavior during a lesson. For example, if a student is upset after a fall, guide them to notice their feelings—say, “I feel frustrated” rather than “I am frustrated.” This small shift creates mental space, helping them see emotions as temporary states, not their identity.
2. Model Emotional Regulation
   When working with a student who’s struggling emotionally, stay calm and grounded. Just as you maintain steady energy when handling a nervous horse, model a composed presence. Your calm demeanor shows students that they can trust the process, even when emotions feel overwhelming. For instance, if a student is anxious about a jump, acknowledge their fear calmly and guide them through a breathing exercise before continuing the lesson.
3. Teach Awareness of Thoughts and Feelings
   Help students build awareness by encouraging them to pause and notice their thoughts and emotions during a lesson. For example, during a challenging exercise, ask, “What are you feeling right now?” or “What thoughts are coming up?” This practice helps them recognize emotional patterns, like tension before a canter transition, and respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
4. Apply the Concept to Thoughts
   Extend this idea beyond emotions to thoughts. Students often get stuck in negative thought loops, like “I’ll never get this right.” Teach them that just as they are not their feelings, they are not their thoughts either. Encourage them to observe their thoughts as passing clouds, not facts. For instance, if a student says, “I’m terrible at this,” guide them to reframe it: “I’m having the thought that I’m struggling, but I can keep practicing.”
5. Build Emotional Regulation Skills
   Equip your students with tools to manage their emotions, such as deep breathing, visualization, or grounding exercises. For example, before a lesson, have them take three slow breaths, focusing on the sensation of the air to calm their nerves. You can also encourage them to visualize a successful ride, which builds confidence and reduces anxiety. These skills are like building strong tracks for their emotional “train” to run smoothly.

Why This Matters in Riding

Riding is as much an emotional journey as it is a physical one. Horses are highly sensitive to their rider’s emotional state, and unregulated emotions can disrupt the connection between horse and rider. By teaching your students to observe their emotions and thoughts, you help them stay present and communicate clearly with their horse, fostering a stronger partnership.