I met with a couple of new people this week who were interested in working with me. Early in my career, these meetings were nerve racking. I worried about what they would think of me. Would they like me? Would they want to work with me? Would I be able to help them? That first meeting almost always fertile ground for my insecurity.

Over time those insecurities faded and with them the associated angst. I often feel like I owe those early career clients and apology. An apology for my self-absorbtion. An apology for actions grounded in my fear and self-doubt. An apology for the assumption that they were sick or broken. An apology for my arrogance in assuming that they needed me to heal them, or even that I could heal them.

There are a few important lessons I have learned in my decades of practice and teaching. The first is that everyone has within them a drive toward health and wellness. My job is not to heal the broken, but rather to help my clients discover that drive and find a way to unleash it on their way to wholeness and health. Another is that people are profoundly resourceful, even if they don’t know it. My job is to help people connect to their own resourcefulness on the pathway to their goals. Finally, the path to achieve all of this is connection and relationship. I need to be open, available, curious, kind, and connect in this way.

Over the last several months, I have watched Justin working with Wellington, a rescue from Heart of Phoenix. He has taken a different approach with him, moving more slowly and building relationship rather than forging ahead with a typical training schedule. I can’t help but see the parallels between my professional growth and Justin’s, both in his work with horses and how he talks about them. These days he is far less about showing off what he can do and much more about being curious and inviting the horses to work with him, taking the time to learn who they are and helping them bring their best selves to the training.

It is amazing to me how the world changes when act from self-acceptance and the resulting self-confidence. Our focus changes from concerns about ourselves to connecting with others. Insecurity, worry and self-doubt are all natural experiences. They are expected, especially when we are starting our journey down a new and exciting path. Rather than villainize these experiences, let’s notice, accept, and understand them as part of a process toward something better.

I can honestly say that meeting new clients these days is one of the most gratifying and enjoyable parts of my job. I look forward to getting to the place where I can bring the same perspective and attitude to my horsemanship. ~ Paul

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