My work as a therapist involves holding space for people to experience their emotions in a rich, textured way. Often, these feelings stem from profound life challenges; loss, traumatic injury, or life-threatening illness, to name a few.

Some clients resist giving themselves permission to fully feel their natural emotional responses. They minimize their struggles or compare them to others’ hardships, saying things like, “These are first-world problems,” or “Others have it worse than I do.”

Others experience their pain differently, where it overshadows everything else. They become consumed by grief, worry, sadness, or anger. For a time, in their world, nothing else seems to matter.

Last week, I had the privilege of riding with Pippa Callanan. If you haven’t heard of her, I enthusiastically recommend looking her up and seeking an opportunity to audit a clinic or ride with her. She is remarkable in countless ways. During this clinic, she guided me to explore dynamic balance in movement in a way that felt fresh and enlightening. I learned to maintain awareness, offer support or correction when my horse, Nubble, and I lost balance, and then soften and allow without micromanaging once we found it.

Today, I will visit my youngest sister, who is battling end-stage cancer and has recently transitioned to comfort care. I am deeply aware of the contrast between her experience and my own struggle with a host of strong, complex emotions. I want to honor her and be present in a way that is connected and authentic. Yet, I also recognize the dangers of ignoring or minimizing my own feelings, as well as the risk of losing balance and letting my emotions consume me entirely.

I will strive to apply the lessons of balance and lightness from my ride to my time with my sister today. I aim to honor her and all that she faces while maintaining awareness of my own experience. Hopefully, I can find that balance and then soften, allowing us to be together in a space of compassion, empathy, softness, and lightness.

Life is challenging for all of us. Love and honor both yourself and others. Here’s to finding softness and lightness as you seek and hold your own balance in life and relationships.

~ Paul

PC – Erin Gilmore Photography

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