Did you know that my specialization in graduate school was marital communication? Throughout my career, I have had the both the challenge and joy of working with couples to improve their relationships. I have discovered so many parallels between the behaviors that predict relationship satisfaction in human relationships and those that predict success in human-horse relationships. Maybe it’s worth doing a whole series just on that.
Recently, I have been thinking about one relationship superpower, positive sentiment override (PSO), and how I could leverage it to keep me positively engaged when life is busy and feels challenging. PSO refers to the response in an interaction when our partner does something objectively negative, like a criticize us. Rather than responding in kind, our response is either neutral or positive helping us avoid a whirlpool of negativity.
Like so many helpful behavioral patterns, PSO generally happens spontaneously. It is not something that is planned for, or worked on. Yet, to get it working for us in either our own relationships, our relationships with our horse, or in our lives in general, we have to make a conscious effort.
There is the behavioral side. Awareness – Interrupting Negative Patterns – Choosing and Inserting an Adaptive Behaviors – Lather, Rinse, Repeat. This takes commitment and effort. Then… there is the sentiment side. Sentiment override can go either way. How do we keep it positive?
I know for me it is about building positivity and affection by noticing the good moments, practicing gratitude, and fostering curiosity and playfulness. I commit to this in my relationships with family, work mates, horses, and my life in general.
I am not always successful. Sometimes I take the bait and get lost in negative cycles within myself and with others. But, I believe deeply that it is worth the effort. Will you join me? What do you do to grow positivity and affection in important relationships in your life? ~ Paul
PC – @eringilmorephotos Erin Gilmore Photography
Recently, I have been thinking about one relationship superpower, positive sentiment override (PSO), and how I could leverage it to keep me positively engaged when life is busy and feels challenging. PSO refers to the response in an interaction when our partner does something objectively negative, like a criticize us. Rather than responding in kind, our response is either neutral or positive helping us avoid a whirlpool of negativity.
Like so many helpful behavioral patterns, PSO generally happens spontaneously. It is not something that is planned for, or worked on. Yet, to get it working for us in either our own relationships, our relationships with our horse, or in our lives in general, we have to make a conscious effort.
There is the behavioral side. Awareness – Interrupting Negative Patterns – Choosing and Inserting an Adaptive Behaviors – Lather, Rinse, Repeat. This takes commitment and effort. Then… there is the sentiment side. Sentiment override can go either way. How do we keep it positive?
I know for me it is about building positivity and affection by noticing the good moments, practicing gratitude, and fostering curiosity and playfulness. I commit to this in my relationships with family, work mates, horses, and my life in general.
I am not always successful. Sometimes I take the bait and get lost in negative cycles within myself and with others. But, I believe deeply that it is worth the effort. Will you join me? What do you do to grow positivity and affection in important relationships in your life? ~ Paul
PC – @eringilmorephotos Erin Gilmore Photography
