Last night, I attended my ballroom dance studio’s annual formal. Pam and I look forward to this event every year, treating it as our adult prom. We get all dressed up, take pictures in the sparkly balloon arch, and dance the night away. Unfortunately, this year Pam was sick and couldn’t attend. I represented us both, but it just wasn’t quite the same. Don’t get me wrong—I never pass up an opportunity to dance, and I’m grateful to all the women who graciously accepted my requests.

I’ve danced with Pam for over 37 years. Sure, we didn’t always do the formal, fancy ballroom stuff, but we danced. A funny thing happens when you spend that much time dancing with someone: it’s almost like you are heard without asking and hear without being asked. Most of the time, it’s seamless, even when navigating the unexpected obstacles on a crowded dance floor.

Last night, I danced with many different partners, and it wasn’t always seamless. I stepped on a few toes and miscommunicated a lead or two. Several of my partners were new to ballroom, and I inadvertently asked questions of them for which they hadn’t yet learned the answers. As I navigated these less-than-perfect moments, I found myself adopting a strategy that was kind to myself and, I hope, kind to my partners. I simply smiled, paused, reset, and reconnected to the music. Wow—if only I could do that with my horse!

Even in the best of times, things occasionally get out of whack. Doing our best and progressing isn’t really about preventing mistakes or making every moment perfect and seamless. Rather, I believe it’s more about how we navigate those imperfect moments that determines our trajectory. Meeting those moments with kindness toward ourselves and our partners, with a sense of humor and lightness of spirit, and with a sense of personal responsibility and desire to improve—that’s all it really takes. ~ Paul Haefner

PC – Erin Gilmore Photography

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