One of the bittersweet parts of my job is when my clients no longer need me. It is that moment when someone feels confident and resourced enough to strike out on their own. Whether it comes after a few sessions or a few years, it fills me with deep satisfaction. At the same time, there is always a quiet sense of loss.

I care deeply about my clients and I invest fully in helping them achieve the goals they set for themselves. In the process of supporting, guiding, and mentoring them through their challenges, we build a strong and trusting relationship. I get to know them in a deeply personal way. Because of that, when the time comes for them to move forward on their own, it can be hard to let go.

The “letting go” is not something that only happens at the end. Often it is an ongoing challenge throughout the process. When you care deeply, there are moments when you want to control the choices your client makes, if only to help them avoid pain you can see coming. I certainly have my own “Papa Bear” moments. When they arise, I try to notice them, acknowledge them, and then return to supporting my clients in a way that respects their responsibility for themselves and their choices.

It does not matter whether you are a therapist, a mental coach, a trainer, or a riding instructor. Our role is to guide in a way that builds real independence and genuine self confidence. This does not mean pushing people off a cliff to see if they can fly. It means helping them grow the knowledge, skill, experience, resilience, and belief in themselves that they need to succeed. Along the way, we give them opportunities to test their wings.

There are times when my clients feel frightened, anxious, or uncertain. There are moments when hope feels distant and change seems hard to believe in. In those moments it can be tempting to jump in and fix things for them. Instead, I often invite them to borrow my belief in them and in the possibility of change. That belief is not built on blind optimism. It is grounded in decades of experience and hard work standing beside people as they find their path forward.

This is how we help our clients unfurl their wings.

And eventually, fly on their own.

~ Paul

PC-Erin Gilmore Photography

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