This last weekend I stepped out of my comfort zone. I rode my Westphalen restart project Lil’ Joe in a Lester Buckley clinic on our home farm. Joe had come to me with a bolting issue and I have taken the restart very very very slowly. While I had been riding him regularly in the round pen, the start of the clinic was his second time in the indoor and maybe the seventh or eighth time ridden in the bridle.
I remember Lester asking what we were looking to accomplish. I said, “a good experience for Joe.” and Lester agreed. Suffice it to say that Joe had good experiences for all three days. It got me thinking, yet again, about this cultural glorification of discomfort or pain. I have two new insights (Well, maybe not so new, but insights all the same.). The goal is not discomfort. And, you have to be comfortable to get uncomfortable.
One of the great travesties of the “No pain, no gain” mentality is that it easily gets warped into the seeking of pain as the end goal. I believe that this is the single greatest cause of real injury; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. The value in discomfort is not the discomfort itself, but rather seeking comfort in the discomfort. Allowing yourself to experience physical discomfort just enough so that you become stronger and the effort is no longer uncomfortable. Allowing yourself to experience psychological or emotional discomfort long enough so that you can seek and find the comfort in the new situation. We all grow in this way.
When you are in the arena with Lester, it does not take long to connect to his kindness, attentiveness, knowledge, wisdom, gentle humor and skill. It was not that I thought that nothing bad could happen, it was that I knew he would use his expertise and do his best to ensure that Joe and I got a good deal. I also quickly came to believe that if things “went south” he would be there to help us work it through in the best way he knew how. That kind of presence and connection to me and my horse was the foundation for my being able to regulate my anxiety and engage my curiosity and courage. Without the relational comfort, stepping outside my comfort zone would be pushing or forcing myself there. This is profoundly different than engaging my desire and curiosity for expanding my experience and allowing myself to step out of my comfort zone.
We have all seen it with horses. We have seen moments where they have been pushed into discomfort. And, if we are lucky, we have seen moments where it was set up for them to engage their curiosity and courage to seek comfort in the initially uncomfortable.
If we need to glorify something, let’s glorify the drive for exploration, curiosity, and play that blossoms in positive connection. Let’s glorify the consistent, caring, attentive, healthy relationships with ourselves, others and our horses that make it all possible. ~ Paul
PC – @Erin Gilmore Photography
This last weekend I stepped out of my comfort zone. I rode my Westphalen restart project Lil’ Joe in a Lester Buckley clinic on our home farm. Joe had come to me with a bolting issue and I have taken the restart very very very slowly. While I had been riding him regularly in the round pen, the start of the clinic was his second time in the indoor and maybe the seventh or eighth time ridden in the bridle.
I remember Lester asking what we were looking to accomplish. I said, “a good experience for Joe.” and Lester agreed. Suffice it to say that Joe had good experiences for all three days. It got me thinking, yet again, about this cultural glorification of discomfort or pain. I have two new insights (Well, maybe not so new, but insights all the same.). The goal is not discomfort. And, you have to be comfortable to get uncomfortable.
One of the great travesties of the “No pain, no gain” mentality is that it easily gets warped into the seeking of pain as the end goal. I believe that this is the single greatest cause of real injury; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. The value in discomfort is not the discomfort itself, but rather seeking comfort in the discomfort. Allowing yourself to experience physical discomfort just enough so that you become stronger and the effort is no longer uncomfortable. Allowing yourself to experience psychological or emotional discomfort long enough so that you can seek and find the comfort in the new situation. We all grow in this way.
When you are in the arena with Lester, it does not take long to connect to his kindness, attentiveness, knowledge, wisdom, gentle humor and skill. It was not that I thought that nothing bad could happen, it was that I knew he would use his expertise and do his best to ensure that Joe and I got a good deal. I also quickly came to believe that if things “went south” he would be there to help us work it through in the best way he knew how. That kind of presence and connection to me and my horse was the foundation for my being able to regulate my anxiety and engage my curiosity and courage. Without the relational comfort, stepping outside my comfort zone would be pushing or forcing myself there. This is profoundly different than engaging my desire and curiosity for expanding my experience and allowing myself to step out of my comfort zone.
We have all seen it with horses. We have seen moments where they have been pushed into discomfort. And, if we are lucky, we have seen moments where it was set up for them to engage their curiosity and courage to seek comfort in the initially uncomfortable.
If we need to glorify something, let’s glorify the drive for exploration, curiosity, and play that blossoms in positive connection. Let’s glorify the consistent, caring, attentive, healthy relationships with ourselves, others and our horses that make it all possible. ~ Paul
PC – @Erin Gilmore Photography
