My horse Revel is the gift that keeps on giving. Last week, I wrote about belief — belief in ourselves, in our horses, and in what’s possible. This week, during my first ride after the Pippa clinic, we had the most beautiful, light, and soft transition from walk to canter. It was just one transition, and we’re really only at the beginning. But I’ll treasure that moment and keep working to let Rev know how good he is at things.

One of our biggest challenges together is undoing what I’ve taught him up to this point. From my work with people, I know that some changes come easily. Sometimes we’re ripe for transformation. We shift one small thing in our balance or our aids and, voilà, the doors fly open. As long as we can reproduce that new balance or way of asking, the new attitudes and behaviors are right there. It’s as if we’d been blocking the good stuff all along and just needed to get out of our own way.

But there’s another kind of change. There are moments when we get things just right and realize that we’ve taught our horses an unhelpful response to the proper aids. After my accident with Revel in 2013, I was terrified he might run off with me again, so I taught him to stop. Apparently, I did this very well. Any time my energy drops or my body softens, he halts, dead still, and still does to this day.

During the clinic, I was working on descente des aides, the silencing or release of the aids. Each time Revel responded and I quieted my aids, he stopped. At first, I was frustrated with myself and then with him. What was I doing wrong? Then it hit me: what if I wasn’t doing anything wrong at all? What if I was actually getting it just right, but in all our years together I had taught him that this moment of quiet meant something else?

It reminded me of my work with children and families. So often, I can see both what’s wrong and how easily it could be fixed if the behavioral contingencies could change. I also know that it would have been easier if the desired dynamics had been established at the start. But now, the river is flowing strong, and we have to make changes mid-stream. This is a task that is possible but that takes thoughtful effort and steady persistence under the guidance of a patient, watchful mentor.

It makes me wonder how many times I’ve felt lost in my riding, not because I was doing something wrong, but because my horses had learned that it meant something else. How many times have I gone chasing different solutions when what I really needed was clarity, help in refining my communication, and patience in helping my horse understand that what I once taught was unhelpful, and that now I want to change the flow of the river?

Man, it’s hard to change things mid-stream. ~ Paul

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