As riding instructors, we often witness intense emotions in our students. The challenges of horseback riding—whether mastering a new skill or facing a horse’s unpredictable nature—can spark fear, frustration, or tears. When a student has a meltdown, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or unsure how to respond.

Our instinct might be to control the situation with phrases like, “It’s not that bad,” or “Stop crying,” or even offer bribes to regain calm. While these tactics may seem effective in the moment, they often fall short and can lead to recurring emotional outbursts.

There’s a better way: empathic connection. By pausing to see the situation through your student’s eyes, understanding their experience, and showing genuine curiosity, you can defuse intense emotions and build trust. This isn’t about agreeing with their perspective—it’s about making them feel seen and safe.

Here’s how to put empathy into practice:

1. Pause and Observe: Take a moment to notice your student’s emotional state without judgment.
2. Reflect Their Experience: Say something like, “I can see this feels really tough right now. Can you tell me what’s going on?”
3. Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions without trying to fix them immediately. For example, “It’s okay to feel scared; riding can be challenging.”

Empathy engages the nervous system’s natural ability to regulate emotions. While it’s not a magic fix—some riders may still struggle with anger or tears—it creates a safe space for emotional growth. This approach fosters resilience, strengthens the instructor-student bond, and helps riders feel valued, setting them up for success both in the saddle and beyond.

Let’s embrace empathy in our teaching to create a supportive environment where our students can thrive. How do you support your riders’ emotional regulation? Share your strategies below!

~ Paul