In our Fresh Start II: Foundation of Confidence and Connection clinic we were talking about change and in a conversation with the group, I let it slip that, “Change is easy.” As soon as I said it I knew that there would be lively conversation about this idea. While there was some gentle push back and mild expressions of doubt from the group, perhaps the biggest push back came from myself.
I woke early this morning chewing hard on this idea. On one hand, I know from both personal and professional experience that changing ones behavior or state of mind in a specific circumstance is easy. I have done it for myself and guided clients to change hundreds if not thousands of time. On the other hand, I know from personal and professional experience that changing thinking and perceptual filters like limiting beliefs, is extremely difficult.
How can we reconcile these two seeming truths? I think it comes down to what I refer to as the 5 Essential Conditions for Change. One of my NLP and Hypnotherapy mentors, Ron Klein, used to say that there are 5 essential conditions for change and if they are met you will be able to help your clients change. My apologies to my readers that have heard me talk about these a million times before…
Unequivocal desire to change… There can be no “I want to change, but…”
Stated in the Positive… You have to know what you want, not what you don’t want.
Contextually Specific… The change is specific to a specific context.
Self-initiated and Self-maintained… You can only change you.
Future oriented… Can’t change the past.
When I have worked with clients to meet these conditions, my clients have made changes 100% of time. A pretty impressive statistic. But, what about perceptions and beliefs. Do the same conditions apply? Could beliefs be just as easy to change if we meet the same conditions.
I wonder. My gut says that they are. If we think of a belief as the mental equivalent of a behavior. Dysfunctional or unhelpful beliefs are simply mental habits for which all the the essential conditions would apply. Could it be that simple?
I will be pondering this in the weeks to come. My current thinking is that it requires a level of awareness that behaviors do not. It is easier to see our behavior than it is to identify the beliefs that guide them. My other thought is that beliefs run deep and are part of the fabric of whole systems of behavior. There are more potential “unintended consequences” of a change in our beliefs than simple behavior change. This could feed the “Yes, but…” monster.
I am curious about your thoughts. Do you seek change on the level of beliefs? How do you do it? And… is it easy?!?!
~ Paul
In our Fresh Start II: Foundation of Confidence and Connection clinic we were talking about change and in a conversation with the group, I let it slip that, “Change is easy.” As soon as I said it I knew that there would be lively conversation about this idea. While there was some gentle push back and mild expressions of doubt from the group, perhaps the biggest push back came from myself.
I woke early this morning chewing hard on this idea. On one hand, I know from both personal and professional experience that changing ones behavior or state of mind in a specific circumstance is easy. I have done it for myself and guided clients to change hundreds if not thousands of time. On the other hand, I know from personal and professional experience that changing thinking and perceptual filters like limiting beliefs, is extremely difficult.
How can we reconcile these two seeming truths? I think it comes down to what I refer to as the 5 Essential Conditions for Change. One of my NLP and Hypnotherapy mentors, Ron Klein, used to say that there are 5 essential conditions for change and if they are met you will be able to help your clients change. My apologies to my readers that have heard me talk about these a million times before…
Unequivocal desire to change… There can be no “I want to change, but…”
Stated in the Positive… You have to know what you want, not what you don’t want.
Contextually Specific… The change is specific to a specific context.
Self-initiated and Self-maintained… You can only change you.
Future oriented… Can’t change the past.
When I have worked with clients to meet these conditions, my clients have made changes 100% of time. A pretty impressive statistic. But, what about perceptions and beliefs. Do the same conditions apply? Could beliefs be just as easy to change if we meet the same conditions.
I wonder. My gut says that they are. If we think of a belief as the mental equivalent of a behavior. Dysfunctional or unhelpful beliefs are simply mental habits for which all the the essential conditions would apply. Could it be that simple?
I will be pondering this in the weeks to come. My current thinking is that it requires a level of awareness that behaviors do not. It is easier to see our behavior than it is to identify the beliefs that guide them. My other thought is that beliefs run deep and are part of the fabric of whole systems of behavior. There are more potential “unintended consequences” of a change in our beliefs than simple behavior change. This could feed the “Yes, but…” monster.
I am curious about your thoughts. Do you seek change on the level of beliefs? How do you do it? And… is it easy?!?!
~ Paul
