Yearly Archives: 2018

In all honesty, I am not a particularly obsessive person.  I am typically a “go with the flow” kind of guy and I endeavor to enjoy and appreciate what life brings my way.  But, every once in a while I find myself driven in the pursuit of excellence of one kind or another.  There was that time in graduate school where I was in search of the perfect blueberry muffin recipe.  Almost every weekend for months the house was filled with the sweet aroma of baking muffins.  I had to master new techniques, expand my knowledge of the science and art of baking, and above all resist the temptation to mix the batter too much (a surefire way to generate a tough muffin).

Then there was the search for the world’s best fish and chips that began on a trip to Nova Scotia.  During that trip I ate fish and chips at least once each day, exploring the nuances of the dish at each restaurant; haddock vs. cod, the cut of the fillet, texture, flavor, lightness and crispiness of the batter. There were a number of things that surprised me during that trip.  First, in a land filled with fresh and delectable seafood and perhaps the world’s best potatoes (it was harvest time on Prince Edward Island), more than once I was served frozen processed fish along with flavorless mass-produced fries.  I was amazed to find such mediocrity in an otherwise magical place.  Second, after sampling the fare at several fine restaurants and highly touted pubs, I found fish and chips heaven at a small nondescript kiosk on the wharf in Halifax…amazingly fresh haddock with a light, delightfully crispy batter that was cooked to absolute perfection. The fish was so outrageously good that I honestly don’t remember the chips (which may have something to do with the amazing poutine kiosk next door).

I was reminded of this fish and chips adventure last week when I audited the Ecole de Légèreté Instructor Training course in Newville, PA.  I had the pleasure of dining with the master instructor Bertrand Ravoux in nearby Shippensburg.  We both ordered the fish and chips as I told the Nova Scotia story.  This first restaurant was pretty bad.  The batter was nonexistent and the fish was cooked so much that it had a tough and chewy texture.  As the training progressed, it became a running joke every evening as I was compelled to order the fish and chips at each new restaurant we tried.

While I never found anything more than a mediocre fish and chips, I was touched deeply by the parallels of my obsession with fish and chips and the journey of each and every student in the training.  I had the pleasure meeting a group of individuals deeply committed to their pursuit of horsemanship at the highest level.  This was not about winning ribbons or achieving fame.  Their pursuit was about honoring the horse and ultimately being in a position to pass on their knowledge to others and the next generation.  And, unlike my culinary experiences in Shippensburg, they had found the horsemanship equivalent of that amazing kiosk on the wharf.  Bertrand Ravoux and the Ecole de Légèreté Instructor Training course demonstrated a commitment to excellence and principles which, in my experience, are rare and to be treasured.  I look forward to the next time I ride with them.  Perhaps I have found my next obsession in Ecole de Légèreté.

Typically, when a rider seeks out my assistance, they have a problem and are looking to get it fixed.  Often their problem involves a strong emotional reaction to a specific situation that interferes with their riding, such as anxiety as they enter the show ring or panic as they approach a triple combination.  Many are surprised, after they have described their problem, when I ask them to take a step back and look at the broader picture.  Like most of us, my clients are highly focused on the problem and often believe that the solution lies in directly addressing that problem; changing some specific thing about themselves that causes the problem to vanish.

In order for this to be true, we have to subscribe to a simple mechanistic view that involves simple cause and effect.  Isolate the broken part, replace it, and the machine works. This view point is extremely appealing in its simplicity, efficiency, and imagined effectiveness.  This perspective or belief is also highly seductive (think Sirens from the Odyssey) in that periodically we find situations where this seems to be true.  We make a small change and VOILA! everything gets better.  It seems like magic and, I have to admit, I love being the magician.

The reality is that very few of the problems we face in our riding are that simple.  Even if we find a simple fix, something that helps in a dramatic and immediate fashion, it is not the whole picture and is very unlikely to fix the problem once and for all.  It is helpful to think of our thoughts, feelings and actions as influencing the probability of any specific outcome or event rather than thinking about them in terms of simple cause and effect. (This is the difference between Quantum and Newtonian Physics which carries me back to my days as a student of physics.  I am constantly debating as to whether to write about this or not.  I could be talked into it if there is enough reader interest :-) )  In this way, we allow for the changes we make to effect the probability of desired outcomes to a greater or lesser degree.  At the same time, we understand that even a positive change might not invariably lead to the outcome we seek.

We may find a “fix” that dramatically increases the probability of a desired outcome.  At the same time, we can commit to a wide range of changes that increase the probability of what we want, even if the changes in outcomes are incremental.  We invest time strengthening our mental, emotional, and physical fitness.  We commit to advancing our knowledge and skill. We connect to our core motivations and create well formed goals with a clear and measurable plan. And, we nurture those relationships that help us advance toward our goals in a positive and affirming way.

Dedicated horsewomen and horsemen around the world rail against the short cuts taken that adversely affect the physical, emotional and mental welfare of our horses.  Yet, we are often happy to take similar shortcuts with ourselves.  The next time you run into a challenge in your riding, by all means look for possible efficient solutions; however, at the same time take a step back and explore the larger context.  Take the time to look at the forest, as well as the trees.

I recently participated in a training course on techniques and strategies to build core mindfulness skills.  While there were many interesting strategies that will be helpful to my clients over time, I was struck by Sheri Van Dijk‘s presentation regarding states of mind.  She focused her presentation on two specific states of mind, the Rational Mind and the Emotional Mind and talked about the distinction between them.  I think the ideas she presented are directly relevant to what we desire as a performance state of mind.

Van Dijk defines the Rational Mind as our rational and logical side.  In our Rational Mind, reason prevails.  While emotion may be present when we are in a rational state of mind, it is well situated into the background and does not impact our actions.  This is our inner analyst or engineer,  cold and calculating.  It is not hard to see the benefits of a well-developed rational mind.  Simply imagine responding to a crisis situation with a horse.  In these emotionally heated moments it is incredibly helpful to maintain your presence of mind and continue thinking clearly as you find your way to a solution.  We live in culture where the Rational Mind is so highly valued (perhaps overly so) that it is a little harder to see where acting from this state of mind might be negative.  The most common examples involve the welfare of others.  For example, it may be perfectly logical from a financial standpoint to euthanize a horse that requires expensive veterinary care.  However, this ignores our moral and ethical obligations for the welfare of our equine partners which we take on when choosing to own and care for horses.

In our Emotional Mind, our emotions and feelings prevail.  While reason may be present, our actions are driven by our feelings and emotions. We have all been in a situation with our horses where our emotions get the best of us.  Can you remember a time where your behavior with your horse was a reaction to frustration and anger, rather than what you knew to be right?  I certainly can.  It is also important to remember that our Emotional Mind is not always negative and does not always involve negative emotions.  At times we can make choices based solely on warm, loving, compassionate feelings that in many ways defy logic.  These positive emotion-based choices and behaviors may be laudable and even heroic or, they may serve to perpetuate or exacerbate a problem.

While it is helpful in and of itself to be reminded of these two states of mind, Van Dijk goes on to describe the intersection of the two states which she calls the Wise Mind.  In the Wise Mind we hold both our capacity for reason and our capacity to feel.  It is a space where the contributions of each are recognized and cherished.  In this state, we balance the impact of logic and emotion in a way that best meets the demands of any given situation.  It does not mean a rigid 50/50 split, but rather an appreciation that some situations demand more of one without ignoring the importance of the other.

I would argue that part of an ideal performance state includes us being centered in our Wise Mind.  Like other helpful and adaptive states, the Wise Mind needs to be cultivated.  It is a capacity that, while occurring naturally for most of us in at least some situations, isn’t often readily available in high pressure situations.  Cultivating our Wise Mind starts in awareness of our mental and emotional processes.  As we grow in our awareness, we can also grow in our acceptance of these thoughts and feelings.  Acceptance is as important as awareness, because acceptance allows us access to all of what we think and feel and leaves us less vulnerable to the influence of the thoughts and feelings we consider to be undesirable. Awareness and acceptance then leads to access to our thoughts and feelings, as well as the resulting pause between situation and reaction that allows us to make a choice.

I encourage everyone to play with these ideas.  Let me know how this take on states of mind helps you as you progress toward your riding goals.

Those who follow my blog know that for the last four years I have taken a break from my full-time sport psychology practice.  I have had the joy of teaching science to the 7th and 8th graders at The Hill School in Middleburg, VA.  At the end of this school year, carrying with me the many treasures from that adventure, I am excited to announce my return to my sport psychology consultation practice full-time.

I have always been a man who is intensely curious and excited by the opportunity to grow and learn.  My time in the classroom has provided a treasure trove of experiences which has enriched my life, broadened my perspective, heightened my awareness, and grounded me in warm supportive connections in a wonderful community,  I have learned much about myself and what it takes to motivate myself and others to overcome the challenges we face on a daily basis, both great and small.

I am excited to bring my new-found skill and awareness to my work in sport psychology with equestrians. As I expand my practice, I will have more time available for clinics, seminars and individual consultation.  Keep your eyes and ears open for an event near you.

Recently a friend and trainer Lesley Stevenson posted a question on her Facebook page asking how people recover from a bad ride. I loved reading the responses.  Sharing ideas and experiences with each other is an essential part in maintaining our resilience in the face of challenge.  I also admired the wealth of knowledge, creativity and humor in everyone’s responses.  As I read each comment, I started thinking about how the responses naturally fell into several categories which reflected the strategies for recovery recommended by sport psychology consultants. As a tribute to all the riders that responded to that post, I thought I would try to summarize those strategies here so we all might benefit.

First let me say that, while the initial question was about recovering from a bad ride, I would suggest that we might broaden it to include all disappointments, frustrations, irritations and bad experiences in general.  Like so many other things in our horse experience, keeping the following strategies in mind will be helpful in our riding but also in our lives in general. With that in mind, here are 5 strategies for helping us recover from a “bad ride”:

Setting Realistic Expectations

There is a an old saying that if you don’t want to be disappointed, don’t have any expectations.  While I don’t agree with the idea of giving up all expectations, I do think that disappointments and frustrations are an opportunity to check in on our expectations and make sure they are realistic.  Consistently falling short in the face of unrealistic expectations is a tried and true recipe for misery and human suffering (not to mention equine suffering).

There are two things I try to consider when reflecting on expectations.  The first is the expectation itself.  I like to ask how the expectation was established.  Is it solidly grounded in expert knowledge and experience?  And, did I set this expectation or did I import or adopt someone else’s? These are particularly important questions to ask since unrealistic expectations are often grounded in incorrect or incomplete information.  Problems are also likely if we are trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.

The second consideration is context.  Even the most realistic of expectations can devolve into disaster in an unfavorable context.  What I might reasonably expect on one day in one setting or set of conditions may be entirely unrealistic in a different place under different conditions.  This is the spirit of the saying, “Ride the horse that shows up that day.”  It also acknowledges that many things that are not in our control and that we should take this into account in realistically adjusting our expectations.

Curiosity, Reflection, Knowledge and Understanding

People regularly use several strategies for regulating their emotional experience.  One of the most powerful is the acquisition of knowledge and understanding.  Somehow, even when we can’t change something, understanding it makes us feel better.   The search for knowledge and understanding is grounded in, and motivated by, an attitude of curiosity and it is accelerated by the process of reflection. Like expectations, knowledge and understanding are not necessarily realistic or valid.   In many ways curiosity and reflection helps provide the foundation for a realistic and valid search for understanding.  It is best when knowledge is valid, practical, effective, and connected to our experience in real and helpful ways.

Reframing

Personal explanation of events are closely related to knowledge and understanding.  There are types of personal explanations that often lead us down a dark path.  In psychology they talk about attributions (our explanations of the cause of events) and several dimensions which have been shown to be important.  These include:

• Internal vs. External
• Global vs, Specific
• Stable vs. Unstable

The nature of the attributions we make about positive and negative events determine their helpfulness to us in moving forward.  For example, if we see a negative event as my fault (internal) and we think it always happens (stable) in every situation (global) the attribution is likely to have a deleterious effect on us moving forward.  We are often better served by more subtle or complex attributions for negative events that are a blend of internal and external causes (Internal and External), respect the event as happening in a specific context (Specific), and view it as changeable over time (Unstable).

The neat thing about our personal explanations for the causes of events is that they we can update or change them.  Taking irrational or maladaptive thoughts and finding more positive alternatives for them is a psychological strategy known as reframing.  This works well for negative thinking patterns in general.  The next time your find yourself being harshly negative, take note of that thought and identify 3 more positive or adaptive alternatives.  This process helps to break negative thinking cycles and also opens the door to curiosity and reflection that I referred to above.

Break States, Rest and Rejuvenation

One of the easiest and most under used strategies is the break state.  In any experience there is a certain degree of psychological/emotional momentum.  The idea is a simple one, do something unusual or silly to snap you out of your current state.  At the end of a hypnosis session I will often ask my clients to slap their legs, stomp their feet, and say something unusual or unexpected like “hippopotamus.”  These simple actions breaks the momentum of our state of being and allows us to start fresh.

Equally important, and under used, is the strategy of taking an actual break.  The idea of a break is for it to be restorative.  It can be restorative in terms of balance in our thinking, emotions, as well as our physiology.  Breaks come in all shapes and sizes.  Smaller breaks might serve a purpose similar to a break state exercise.  Longer breaks, like taking a nap, a glass of wine or dinner with loved ones, or a weekend away, allow us to rejuvenate ourselves.  Rejuvenation can and should be physical, emotional, energetic and spiritual.   In our hard-driving world we have lost the art of rejuvenation which ultimately makes us less resilient and less adaptive.

Acceptance

First, let’s identify what acceptance is not.  Acceptance is not settling, giving up, or setting aside your goals and dreams.  Acceptance is instead an acknowledgement of what is happening without all the judgments.  Acceptance is a very important skill to develop.  Yes, I said a skill.  The ability to focus on and acknowledge what is happening at any given moment with out latching on to a process of judgement and evaluation is a skill which can be learned, practiced, and developed.  The amazing thing about acceptance is that it allows a space between an experience and our reactions, giving us the chance to make a choice.  When we exercise choice in responding to a situation rather than reflexively reacting we create the opportunity for creativity, flexibility, adaptability, and ultimately change.

Putting It All Together

I think it is fair to say that “bad rides” are inevitable.  We are all going to have a day when things don’t go our way.  We will have days when we are not at our best, we will have days when our horses are not at their best, and we will have days when the our surroundings and circumstances work against us.  When those rides come our way, we can carry with us a well stocked tool box of strategies and skills that will do more than carry us through.  They will allow us to transform those experiences in opportunities for learning and growth, moving us closer to our riding goals.

One of the things that many people don’t know about me is that I hold Bachelor of Science degree in Physics.  I have always been interested in the scientific knowledge of our natural world and how the insights from advanced scientific study enrich our understanding of ourselves, our horses and our relationship with them.  On occasion, I stumble across an intersection of the the worlds of theoretical physics and  psychology that is directly applicable to our engagement in equestrian sport.  Daniel Siegel’s book Mind: A journey to the heart of being human provided one of those moments where human experience and the theories of Quantum Physics collide in a particularly meaningful way.  Dr. Siegel’s ideas relate directly to our efforts to increase the probability of peak performance.

For those less mathematically inclined, I would ask that you bear with me a moment as I indulge my not so inner physics geek.  I promise this will bear fruit in just a few short paragraphs.

We have been acculturated to a world that primarily values what is known as Newtonian Physics.  This is a physics of straightforward cause and effect, an understanding of the world where A causes B or A + B causes C.  This idea of direct causal relationships is particularly seductive since much of our world seems to work this way.  Remember all the times our trainer offered a suggestion and, when we were able to effectively implement it, our ride transformed in miraculous ways. There are an infinite number of examples of things that actually do seem to work this way in our riding, so why not stop there?  Why look beyond these simple, understandable, and reliable ideas when working to improve our performance?

The answer is simple, they don’t always work.  I would even venture to say that for most of us, the answers to our greatest challenges are not simple and straightforward.  There is no “magic bullet’ or “holy grail” no matter how much we wish that to be true. To think of the solutions to our challenges as simple, leads us down a trail of disappointment and self-doubt, because we can never seem to find “the answer”.  If there is a simple answer, what is wrong with me that I can’t find it or apply it effectively?

Enter the world of Quantum Physics.  At the risk of profoundly oversimplifying, Quantum Physics opens a door to a world that is govern less by linear equations of cause and effect and more by equations that represent the relationship between contributing factors and the probability or possibility of certain outcomes.  The greatest benefit of this perspective is that it accounts for a complexity and variation of experience that the Newtonian models do not.  In his book Mind, Daniel Siegel talks about this complex world of human experience as a mathematical plane of probabilities. The fundamental idea is that changes in some or all of the factors that affect a behavior or outcome, create changes in the probability of that potential outcome.  It may be obvious from this simplified presentation of his ideas, that we are talking about a multitude of factors that contribute to increasing (or decreasing) the probability of success and not just one “magic pill.”

So how is this helpful to us as equestrians?  First, it points to the obvious.  Equestrian sport is an endeavor which relies on a highly complex array of knowledge, skills, attitudes, behaviors, emotions, etc.  Honoring this complexity should be at the core of any attempt to grow in our sport.

Second, if we accept the complexity we also can accept the responsibility to grow in the many facets of ourselves that impact our riding.  If we are to grow and improve, we must be committed to grow in all of these areas and more.  Our commitment must be as much to personal growth and physical fitness as it is to skill attainment and knowledge of horses and riding.

Third, if the factors that relate to improving our performance are complex then the journey to improvement and change are also likely to be complex.  Often, our frustration is rooted in expectation.  If we perceive solutions as simple, then frustration arises quickly when our problems are not solved quickly. Appreciating the complexity of the endeavor helps to adjust our expectations and reduces frustration.  It also helps us in orienting ourselves to ongoing efforts and the hard work associated with improvement rather than the eternal search for the quick fix.

Fourth, when we see our efforts as increasing the probability of a desired outcome rather than the absolute achievement of that outcome, we become more realistic in our goals and hopefully more forgiving of ourselves when we fall short.  We allow for the existence of all the factors we cannot control and adjust our expectations accordingly.  Even the best prepared of equestrians fall short on any given day.

The next time you face a significant challenge in your riding, I encourage you to think about the “mathematical plane of probability” or perhaps it is easier to think about a physical “plain of possibility” where the mountains and plateaus represent the increased likelihood of success.  Know that there is much you can do to transform that landscape.  You have influence over a multitude of factors that will move you toward your achievement goals.  You can work on your mind and emotions as well as your body and behavior. You can also remember that you do not control everything. At times we will fall short. Finally, appreciate yourself for your willingness to engage in all the hard work and commitment that it will take to shape and climb those mountains of success.