riding far blog
Our goal is to raise riders' awareness of the importance of mental and emotional skills in equestrian sport. We help equestrians achieve their personal riding goals.
WE SUPPORT, CHALLENGE AND INSPIRE EQUESTRIANS
We hope you will enjoy our insights in the forms of Casual Conversations, videos and articles aimed at helping the equestrian transform their relationships with their horses. We are passionate about sharing our knowledge, tips, tricks, and experiences.
June 23, 2025
There is a an old Guy Clark tune from back in the ‘90s called “Stuff That Works.” Both of my boys roll there eyes when I pull out the lyrics while we are playing music together. If I am being totally honest, it is not my favorite song to play, nor do I find the lyrics or melody captivating. What I do love, however, is the story the song tells.
Here is the chorus:
Stuff that works, stuff that holds up
The kind of stuff you don’t hang on the wall
Stuff that’s real, stuff you feel
The kind of stuff you reach for when you fall
In a day and age where everyone seems to be an expert, and where social media makes it easy to advertise that to the world, I’ve come to value something different. More and more, I find myself drawn to the people who commit to developing deep knowledge—and then take it a step further, bridging the gap between that knowledge and real-world practice.
This weekend I get to spend time with Pippa Callanan. She is one of those special humans that is profoundly passionate about deepening her knowledge and understanding of the horse. If you search for her online you will find a simple website and a Facebook page. What you won’t find are proclamations or promises of the amazing things she can do, has done, or will do for you, What you will find on her Facebook feed are statements of gratitude for time spent, skill taught, and knowledge shared. Stuff that works.
I wish I had a picture of Nubble’s try as she found the balance to take a step or two of her first piaffe-ish movement. I wish I could share a picture of the feel of her soft and relaxed jaw and the noticeable change in her as a I was encouraged to reach for her in a different way. I can’t remember a time when I have concentrated that long, with that intensity. And, it was a joy. Stuff that works.
I am renewed and inspired to continue learning. Not the “I heard this in a podcast” learning but the deep learning that comes when we take the information, thoughts and ideas we hear in those podcasts, videos, books, and lessons and use it as inspiration to take a deeper dive. The kind of learning where we seek deep truths that connect different traditions, theories, and perspectives. Then, connect that knowledge and understanding to practice by searching for the stuff that holds up over time. Not just in the ivory tower of my mind, but in the arena, in the real interactions I have with my horses. The stuff that I can see, and feel and experience. The stuff I can count on to support me when times are challenging. You know, the stuff that works. ~ Paul
#deeplearning#knowledgetopractice#stuffthatworks#horses#pippacallanan#equestrian#equestrianlife#sportpsych#equestriansportpsych#sportpsychology#equestriansportpsychology
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My son Luke performed his Senior Music Composition and Piano Performance recital last night, and tomorrow we celebrate my wife Pam’s 61st birthday. It has me thinking about celebrations and the role they play in our journey.
So often, we think of celebrations as concentrated blocks of time and activity. We organize a meal, offer flowers or gifts, or throw a party. These moments and occasions serve an important purpose for us. They mark an accomplishment or passage. They are our way of offering appreciation and recognition for effort, hard work, or achievement. In this way, they are satisfying to most of us.
Today, we awoke at our Airbnb. We made coffee, shared breakfast, joked, and teased. I found myself taking it all in. I felt a deep sense of love, pride, and gratitude for my family. I realized in that moment that, as fun as a party might be, the true celebration was in the appreciation of each and every one of my family members. I began thinking about how connecting to those feelings—and giving them life in our attitudes, actions, and words—may be the truest form of celebration.
I wonder if, and how, horses celebrate. I wonder what they think of our treats and “special things” after an accomplishment or successful competition. I have to imagine that these celebrations are really more for us than for our horses. And while I don’t see the harm in meeting our needs in this way, I wonder if a quieter, more connected, and grateful style of celebration might better serve our horses’ needs.
I will continue my quiet celebration for the next few days. I will breathe life and action into my love and appreciation for my family. I will also allow myself this same style of celebration when I am with my horses in the coming days and weeks.
How will you celebrate those you love… human and equine?
~ Paul
#celebration#horses#appreciation#gratitude#equestrian#equestrianlife#sportpsych#equestriansportpsych#sportpsychology#equestriansportpsychology
June 22, 2025
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June 20, 2025
I get to write to you from the edge of the arena this morning while Justin offers his feral horse handling clinic, Gentle Beginnings in collaboration with Heart of Phoenix. It’s a beautiful warm spring day with the sun shining gently down. Two adorable horses, both with lots of spots, stand in separate pens. Waiting their turn patiently as Justin works a bit with one and then the other.
Early on, Justin suggested that this might be the most boring two days our auditors have ever spent. And… if that happened he would consider it a great success.
For some reason, people seem to be able to offer their horses the grace of incremental progress, watching and appreciating slow and steady growth. Yet, they demand something much different from themselves.
What would it be like if we offered ourselves the same grace?What would it be like if we celebrated the small shifts and incremental growth in ourselves? What would be like if we learned to patiently watch the “paint of our life” dry. ~ Paul
#feralhorse#horses#gentlebeginnings#firsttouch#equestrian#equestrianlife#sportpsych#equestriansportpsych#sportpsychology#equestriansportpsychology
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I am sitting this morning in a hotel room about 400 miles from home. I’m prepping for a presentation that I am giving today with my good friend Heather Henken of Half Halt at the PATH International Region 3 Conference entitled Navigating Emotions and Behavior: Creating a Supportive Learning Environment.
I am often struck by how complex and rich human experience is. I love all of the conversations I have had this week exploring the nature of emotions. The complexities of neurology. The dynamics of regulation. The interplay of our emotional lives with behavior and learning.
At the same time, no matter how deep or complicated or academic the discussions get, I am equally struck by how we so often reach a very simple conclusion. Being well and doing well is grounded in regulation. And, regulation is grounded in positive connection and relationships.
I love that we share this foundational dynamic with our horses. The same simple, yet profound truth… connection is key.
I have begun to think about each interaction with my horses in terms of this connection. Some of the pathways to positive, consistent connection seem natural and intuitive. It seems especially easy for me while I am on the ground. I can better see and hear my horse when I stand back a bit. Because of this, I am a better communicator and a positive partner.
What I dream for is the same connection from the back of my horse. How do I create (or co-create) a positive, safe and secure relationship when the channel of communication is through the reins and bit, through my legs and seat, through my balance and how I carry my body through space and time. How can I “see” my horse in these ways.
In a couple weeks time we will ride with Pippa Callanan. One of the great joys of riding with her is her ability to open that door for me and my horses a little bit wider each time. She has a gift for explaining and teaching riders and horses how to build and strengthen these channels of communication, ultimately creating the kind of connection that supports regulation.
One last thought, aspirations don’t change the world, actions do. However, it hard to act on what we don’t know. So, join me in creating a better more regulated world for all, horses and humans alike. Let us commit to learning and doing. If you’re free, come hang out with us and Pippa as we do both. The process is more fun and effective when we connect and do it together. ~ Paul
#knowiing#horses#emotionalregulation#connectionwithhorses#regulation#equestrian#equestrianlife#sportpsych#equestriansportpsych#sportpsychology#equestriansportpsychology
June 19, 2025
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June 18, 2025
I was reading a FB post yesterday which started out by saying “Emotions are not behaviors. Behaviors are not emotions. Did you ever find yourself in the position of agreeing with something and then stopping up short and thinking, “Wait, no, that isn’t right.” Then thinking, “Well, yes it is.” And so on and so forth until your mentally exhausted. That is how I felt reading this statement.
At the end of the day I realized what bothered me. It was less about the intricate relationship between emotion and behavior and more about the conundrum we all face. We label and define things in order to communicate or share our understanding and experience. Every time we do that we lose something; information, subtly, richness. Language while necessary is, by its nature, limiting. I believe that this is the underlying dynamic which gives rise to my most common response to peoples’ questions about almost anything horse or human related… “It depends.”
We need clarity for common understanding. Carefully defined terms, ideas, variables, strategies, interventions, etc. help us to explore and grow in our knowledge and understanding. Science is one realm where we carefully apply this principle of clear definition. And, science provides for us a wealth of knowledge to guide our relationships with horses.
Let us not make the mistake of taking that perspective or approach and elevating it to a god-like status. Let us value it while staying connected to the richness and the magic of the relationship and experience we have with horses. At least then we will be aware enough of the limitations of our perspective to say, “It depends.”… Or does it?
~ Paul
#knowing#horses#scientificmethod#downsideofdefinitions#magicofhorses#equestrian#equestrianlife#sportpsych#equestriansportpsych#sportpsychology#equestriansportpsychology
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Last night, I attended my ballroom dance studio’s annual formal. Pam and I look forward to this event every year, treating it as our adult prom. We get all dressed up, take pictures in the sparkly balloon arch, and dance the night away. Unfortunately, this year Pam was sick and couldn’t attend. I represented us both, but it just wasn’t quite the same. Don’t get me wrong—I never pass up an opportunity to dance, and I’m grateful to all the women who graciously accepted my requests.
I’ve danced with Pam for over 37 years. Sure, we didn’t always do the formal, fancy ballroom stuff, but we danced. A funny thing happens when you spend that much time dancing with someone: it’s almost like you are heard without asking and hear without being asked. Most of the time, it’s seamless, even when navigating the unexpected obstacles on a crowded dance floor.
Last night, I danced with many different partners, and it wasn’t always seamless. I stepped on a few toes and miscommunicated a lead or two. Several of my partners were new to ballroom, and I inadvertently asked questions of them for which they hadn’t yet learned the answers. As I navigated these less-than-perfect moments, I found myself adopting a strategy that was kind to myself and, I hope, kind to my partners. I simply smiled, paused, reset, and reconnected to the music. Wow—if only I could do that with my horse!
Even in the best of times, things occasionally get out of whack. Doing our best and progressing isn’t really about preventing mistakes or making every moment perfect and seamless. Rather, I believe it’s more about how we navigate those imperfect moments that determines our trajectory. Meeting those moments with kindness toward ourselves and our partners, with a sense of humor and lightness of spirit, and with a sense of personal responsibility and desire to improve—that’s all it really takes. ~ Paul Haefner
#horses#dancingwithhorses#pathwaytoperformance#reset#equestrian#equestrianlife#sportpsych#equestriansportpsych#sportpsychology#equestriansportpsychology
June 17, 2025
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June 16, 2025
This weekend I am attending the third annual Horses and Humans Research Foundation’s (HHRF) research conference. Years ago, as a member and the president of the board, I advocated for events like this, where people could come together and share their questions, explore methods of inquiry, and discuss the results of their efforts at increasing our knowledge of the ways in which horses-human interactions contribute to the wellness of both horses and people.
We come know things in a lot of different ways. There is focused and casual observation, experience, intuition, direct education, inculturation, among others. In my experience, the world of horse-human interactions has been dominated by the emotional and spiritual. It makes sense to me because of the powerful reactions and responses that so many have in the presence of the horse. Powerful personal experience with no real understanding of the process, the “why”, or the underlying mechanisms have always led people to invoke the spiritual.
This weekend I am reminded of a different way of knowing or coming to know. Knowing through application of the scientific method. Knowing through careful, thoughtful, and controlled research.
One of my early mentors, Cliff Notarius, used to say that “science is a way to minimize the probability that we are lying to each other.” Those who know me well, know that I am not one to engage in the worship of empirical science to the exclusion of the full range of human experience. But, I am one to value empirical science as crucial way of knowing the world. I deeply believe that our investment in the science of horse-human interactions can make the world a better place for ourselves and our equine partners.
If you believe the same, check out HHRF and consider supporting them in pursuit of their mission. I know that you and your horse, as well as the generations to come, will be glad you did. ~ Paul
#knowiing#horses#scientificmethod#horseshealinghumans#horsesandhumansresearchfoundation#equestrian#equestrianlife#sportpsych#equestriansportpsych#sportpsychology#equestriansportpsychology
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So many of the riders I work with are courageous and earnest in their struggle with their fears, nerves, and self-doubt. They come to each session with a concern or issue. They are eager to talk through their “homework” assignments and find the next step.
One of my clients had a hectic week filled with all the things of life, work, and relationships. They admitted that they hadn’t given much thought to our session or even had time to implement the plans from the previous one.
In the conversation that followed we wandered a bit and wondered a bit about parts of their life that usually wouldn’t come up in conversation if we were focused on their riding. As often happens, we discovered patterns and experiences in other parts of their life that related directly to their riding experience.
Time will tell if these insights and and new awarenesses will help them in their riding. But, it reminded me how powerful taking the time to be with someone in a different way can be.
I went to ride yesterday. After riding my mare Nubble, I headed out to grab Lil’ Joe. He was napping in the sun. It was a beautiful day, for a change. It was warm and the sun was shining. As I approached him he looked gently over toward me and then went back to snoozing.
I had this thought. I wonder what would happen if I set my plans and eagerness aside. What if I joined him, a different kind of wandering and wondering. I lay down next to him and we snoozed in the sun.
I don’t know how or if what Joe and I experienced will circle back to our work together. It is easy to be all mystical about it and it is just as easy to be cynical. I do know the joy I felt napping with him in the sun. And, I know that I will pay attention and trust in my experience.
The next time you bump up against life and it gets in the way of your carefully crafted plans, take the time to wander and wonder. I am guessing that you will be glad you did. ~ Paul
#wonder#wander#wanderandwonder#bestlaidplans#gowiththeflow#equestrian#equestrianlife#sportpsych#equestriansportpsych#sportpsychology#equestriansportpsychology
June 15, 2025
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June 13, 2025
Last year my son Luke received a grant to compose a piece that “elevated the voices of post-incarcerated women” for the Freedom Fighting Missionaries (FFM) that serves post-incarcerated and justice-involved individuals and families. Last night his piece premiered at FFM’s annual fundraising gala. On a personal note, I am incredibly proud of this young man for his talent, vision, compassion, hard work, and the creation of this powerful piece. After his piece was played, he walked back over to our table and said something to the effect, “400 man hours and… that’s it.”
The parallel to any riding competition, or any project culminating in a defined outcome for that matter, is striking. After hours, years, and sometimes decades, it all boils down to a few minutes and… that’s it.
Imagine for a moment that your sense of self-worth and your identity was all wrapped up in the performance. What stood out for me last night was the difference between the performance which will be judged by each individual through their own personal filters and Luke’s experience of creation. I know my son to be the man who sought to serve the community rather than himself. I know my son to be the man who endeavored to connect with and compassionately understand the experiences of the women he interviewed. I know my son to be the man who worked diligently and creatively to give these experiences life in music. And, he is so much more than the performance of one piece. So much more than a composer.
It is a reminder for me this year as I enter into our clinic season and step into working equitation competition that I am so much more than my performance in any of these roles at any time. Join me in knowing and embracing our larger selves, drawing our sense of value and esteem from all of who we are and all of what we do. Then we might say, “400 man hours… Yes!!!”
~ Paul
#performance#performanceidentity#selfworth#bestself#equestrian#equestrianlife#sportpsych#equestriansportpsych#sportpsychology#equestriansportpsychology
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An old saying goes, “You can’t train a horse if you can’t move its feet.” We often focus on shaping our horses’ active behaviors, but what do we do when they are shut down, checked out, and hard to reach?
The same applies to riding students. Most instructors find it easier to correct or guide a student’s active riding behaviors (or misbehaviors) than to engage them when they’re disengaged or shut down. Think of the student who never seems to hear your instructions, the one who stops riding and sits idly with their horse in the middle of the arena, or the stressed rider who mentally “disappears” during your conversation.
Wouldn’t it be empowering to have the knowledge and tools to handle these challenging situations effectively? How would it feel to respond with calm confidence, free from worry, self-doubt, or frustration?
The key to staying composed and self-assured in these interactions lies in understanding the dynamics at play and employing effective strategies. Just as learning to ride builds confidence through knowledge and practice, developing skills to manage difficult student interactions enhances your ability to navigate challenges with ease.
That’s why we’re offering a free online class designed for instructors, coaches, and clinicians. Choose from three live sessions:
- June 12 at 7:00 PM EST
- June 16 at 12:00 PM EST
- June 18 at 7:00 PM EST
In this session, we’ll explore:
- Why emotional outbursts occur in the saddle, even when everything seems fine
- What’s happening in a student’s nervous system during moments of distress
- How to support your student without taking on responsibility for their emotions
You’ll walk away with deeper insights and practical tools you can apply immediately.
We’d love to have you join us.
Save your seat here Button: https://course.ridingfar.com/join-us
June 10, 2025
