Monthly Archives: August 2013

Coming Home

By |2013-09-13T10:02:25-04:00August 29, 2013|Categories: Sport psychology|Tags: , , , |

This morning I find myself sitting quietly, soaking in the pre-dawn calm and beauty of Seneca Lake in western New York.  Its been over ten years since my last lake-side vacation and I sit in wonderment at how I feel so at home and at peace in the Finger Lakes.  As I gently whittled away the late afternoon hours yesterday with my sons, fishing pole in hand, I realized how much of my early life had been centered on “lake life.”  The innumerable summer weeks spent at my grandparent’s lake cottage.  The summer camping vacations, lakeside, at any one of a number of beautiful lakes in the Adirondack Mountains.  The annual canoe trips and fishing trips with my father and my brother.   It is no wonder that taking a soak in the lake melts away the years, lightens my heart, and restores my soul.

Over the last two weeks, since my last post on my recovery from my riding accident, I have been thinking a lot about the balance between pushing forward and the need to rest, recover and reward oneself for one’s efforts.  It may seem simple at first.  Push forward until you achieve a success and then reward yourself.  But, fear and anxiety are tricky playmates.  I was exhilarated and relieved after my first post-accident ride on my youngster.  As with facing any anxiety or fear, that first step to get back in the saddle is a huge one.  What I seem to have had forgotten, despite more than two decades helping people with their anxiety, is that overcoming anxiety is not a “once and done” proposition.  I have to admit that, as challenging as it was to get back on the first time, the second and third rides were more personally challenging than the first.

A funny thing about anxiety is that there is nothing more comforting than to make it go away and no better way to make it go away than to withdraw from what makes you anxious.  Thinking about this in terms of riding, if I get myself all worked up to face the challenge of the first ride back and then reward myself with a good long break before the next ride, I run the risk of reinforcing the “taking a break” behavior and making the next ride all the more anxiety provoking.  It’s like inadvertently teaching a horse to pull back by releasing the pressure while they are panicking.  The challenge or the art of recovery, where anxiety is involved, is to understand that it is a process that takes time and requires balance between the challenge and the reward so that you are neither over-faced nor overly withdrawn or backed away.

So what does all this have to do with soaking in a lake or fishing in the Finger Lakes?  When we have had a fall or accident so much of our focus gets placed on overcoming the aspects of our riding experience that causes us anxiety and angst that we run the risk of forgetting all of the other aspects of our horse experience that bring us joy, comfort, fun and a sense of accomplishment.   Just like I had forgotten the peace, comfort and rejuvenation that I feel on a lake, I initially over-focused on riding this particular horse to the exclusion of all the other horse-related activities that bring me joy.   So here is the updated plan:

  • Continue regular rides on my young horse focusing on building his and my confidence while refining many of the good things we have accomplished along the way.  In time, my apprehension will fade if I am consistent in my efforts.’
  • Play more with my young horse on-line and at liberty.  I love playing with this horse at liberty. We can build our relationship when I am not on his back.  And, it is so much fun!
  • Ride my other horses.  Each of my horses present different joys and challenges.  This helps build my confidence in the saddle while keeping me engaged and having fun.
  • On occasion, do what I love with other’s horses that allow me to just enjoy the ride.  I went for my first post-accident trail ride with the Loudoun Fairfax Hunt last Saturday. I am looking forward to hilltopping with my sons this fall on the experienced hunt horses from Over the Grass Farm.
  • Spend more time in the barn taking in the smells and listening to my horses eat.  Some times I forget to take my time and appreciate the simple things.

So, if you find yourself challenged with your own recovery, take the time to reflect on the parts of your horse experience that rejuvenate and restore you. Sprinkle your recovery efforts generously with opportunities to enjoy these experiences to reward, recharge and support yourself.  In this  way your recovery will be more than just the chore or work of recovery and overcoming fear, it may feel more like, well… coming home.

 

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Recovery From Injury: A Personal Path

By |2013-09-13T10:13:41-04:00August 17, 2013|Categories: Sport psychology|Tags: , , , , |

It’s human nature to want to make sense of our world so that we might predict or control it. We seem to have a built-in desire to know and to understand. This desire is even stronger when we’ve had a negative experience.

When a rider has experienced a fall or other riding-related injury, it’s common for people to feel a sense of trepidation getting back into the saddle. Depending on the nature of the accident and the personality and/or history of the rider, trepidation may give way to anxiety, fear or even panic. Under these conditions, we want to know how to address our fear. We want  a plan. We want certainty. We want to know that everything is going to be OK if we follow the steps and do what we’re supposed to do.

If you search Amazon for books on “Overcoming Fear and Anxiety” you’ll get somewhere on the order of 650 results. In addition, there are numerous books dedicated specifically to overcoming fear of riding or fear of horses. While many of these books contain helpful information, useful techniques and pearls of wisdom, it occurred to me a long time ago that if anybody truly had “The Answer” there would be no need for the other 649 books. The harsh reality is that, no matter how much we know about overcoming fear and anxiety or how many useful techniques or methods are available to us, each individual’s road to success will be different. It will be unique to that person. Our path forward depends on a multitude of factors, including who we are as individuals, our circumstances, our motivations and goals, and our resources, to name just a few.

Two weeks ago I had a serious fall from my horse. If you missed the original post you can read about it here. In the spirit that everyone’s recovery is different, I thought I would share some of my own thoughts, reflections and choices as I return to riding. This isn’t offered as a blueprint for overcoming fear, but as a reflection on what has been important to me, as well as many of the clients I’ve helped through their fear over the years.

When I started to think about writing this blog post, I realized that there are so many different things to think about in addressing my path to recovery that it was hard to know where to start. So, the first  step was to simplify and focus. I did my best to assess my starting point, identify the main questions and challenges ahead and then break them down into workable steps.

Here’s my current assessment.

Physically, while cleared to ride, I’m not yet 100 percent. My mind is clear, but the injuries to my chest, ribs and shoulder have not yet fully healed. I would say I’m at 80 percent.

Emotionally, I’m experiencing moderate anxiety about riding my young horse. Interestingly, since I don’t remember the accident, I’m experiencing far less anxiety about getting back on than I have from other accidents where I was conscious throughout the experience. I feel a degree of confidence from the fact that I’ve overcome anxiety and fear several times before when recovering from other falls and injuries. I also draw some comfort because I’m a far more skilled and knowledgeable horseman than I was 12 years ago, the time of my last serious accident. Finally, my trepidation or anxiety this time around seems localized to my young horse. The thought of getting on other horses, even ones I’ve not been riding regularly over the past year, doesn’t seem to phase me. As my physical strength returns and I have the opportunity to ride, I’ll let you know if that changes.

In my attempts to simplify and focus my plan for recovery, I’ve settled on two main priorities for myself. The first is to do my best to minimize physical risks to myself. I’m not a professional rider/trainer, I’m not in any competition for points or year-end awards, and I have a family with two young boys to support. I ride because I love horses, and my riding goals are not tied to a specific timetable or specific performance goals. I fully understand and accept that there are inherent risks in riding horses and perhaps even more in riding a young horse. I accept these risks because this is what I love to do.

However, given my other life priorities, the path I choose may appear overly conservative to some. I realize that I’m far more likely to be successful if I’m patient with myself and my progress, rather than adding a level of stress and worry by pushing forward too quickly and increasing the risks.

The second priority is to maximize the probability of success. For me, this involves setting things up in a way that I know will be best for me. It also means setting things up in a way that I think will be best for my horse. For example, I know that I do my best with support from others, both in terms of companionship and having an ear to talk through my thought process, including my personal experience and what I’m reading in my horse. My first several rides will be in good company.

I also know I’m most confident in a context or setting in which I have had a great deal of prior success. My first several rides will be in my arena at home where I would have a good chance of recreating the context in which my horse and I have experienced many good (and a few great) rides over the past year. I also know I’m at my best when I’m not rushed.  My first several rides will be at a time when I have the time to take my time. This also helps me to limit the distractions of life and to be as focused and relaxed as possible. For my horse, I plan on starting from the beginning while looking for holes in my skills and in his training. I plan on taking my time to strengthen his foundation and rebuilding my trust in him, and hopefully being a more trustworthy partner for him.

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Since starting this post yesterday morning, the process has begun. I finally felt more than well enough to attempt some light riding. So, I went out last night with my young horse, my son and his mare with the simple goal of sitting astride my horse and assessing my own emotions and reactions. It was supposed to be a short and simple process ( insert knowing smile here). We started with some ground work where my horse chose to display his “athleticism” which, while admittedly impressive, only served to raise my anxiety. It only took a moment to realize that my goals for that night had changed from assessing my emotions from the back of my horse to helping my horse get a better handle on his emotions. I took the time that it took to help him get focused and connected with me. When he was settled, relaxed and connected, I took a deep breath, let it out and mounted, tested my neutral lateral flexion, backed him up, walked in a small circle and dismounted. My anxiety was not as strong as I had earlier anticipated, but I wanted to get myself to a better place before I quit. I mounted again walked in small circles and figure eights testing his responsiveness to my leg aids, and when I finally felt my adrenaline drop and I was relaxed, I dismounted and called it a night.

Today is a new day and tomorrow is yet another. I have no idea how long this is going to take. I do know that it’s going to take commitment, effort and consistency on my part. I hope to be able to report a few more steps forward by the time I write again.

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Gratitude For An Insistent Loving Partner

By |2013-09-13T10:14:05-04:00August 9, 2013|Categories: Sport psychology|Tags: , , , , |

I don’t know about you, but I grew up in an age where no one wore a helmet while riding.  Sure, we had those fashionable little hunt caps we wore during shows that had all the protective qualities of Hershey’s Magic Shell (you know, the stuff that hardens when you pour it on your ice cream).  But, I don’t ever remember a discussion about ASTM or SEI safety certification.  Like most people, my old habits, preference and prejudices die hard.  As time passed and rules changed, I did get an approved helmet for competition.  Yet, to be honest I seldom wore a helmet when I didn’t “have to.”

Then, about 14 years ago, my first son was born.  I remember the day that my wife came out to the arena while I was riding and she asked me, at least until our children were grown and independent, if I would promise to wear a helmet when I rode.  For those that don’t know me personally, my wife is not a horsewoman.  She appreciates their beauty and enjoys having them on the farm, but her connection to horses is totally through her love for me and her willingness to indulge my passion.  At the time, it seemed a small price to pay for her continued support.  I reluctantly agreed to to wear a helmet from that day forward.

I am embarrassed to admit my own arrogance at that point in my life.  I remember thinking that wearing a helmet all the time was overkill.  Sure it made sense if I was jumping cross country or riding an unfamiliar horse.  But, for flat work or other quiet work with a known quantity in a ring?  Seriously?  But, I am a man of my word and with very few exceptions I honored my wife’s insistent request and wore a helmet whenever I rode from that day forward.

Last Friday we had a gorgeous cool, dry day.  The kind that are extremely rare in Virginia in August.  I had the day off work and was really excited to finally have the time to spend a full day with a young horse that I have been bringing along.  There were several things I wanted to help him with that I didn’t want to rush and this seemed like the perfect opportunity.  One of my agenda’s was to introduce him to “the neighborhood.”  Just so you have the right image, I live on a dirt road off of a dirt road in a rural area in Virginia.  My “neighborhood” is made up of a few small farms and a half a dozen houses.  We started on the ground introducing him to all of those terrifying horse-eating monsters like my neighbor’s jeep, mud puddles, utility construction crews, etc.  After an hour or so he appeared settled and quiet and I chose to get on.  Everything went smoothly at first until we encountered a ridge of gravel at the edge of the road that had been deposited there by a recent rain.  So, like everything else we started patiently working at getting brave.

I will never know what spooked him.  He spun and took off at top speed.  The last thing I remember is making a reasonably calm assessment of my situation.  I had lost a stirrup when he spun.  I was pulling on one rein with all my strength to try and turn him, but to no avail.  I was considering my options.  Would it be safer to try and ride it out or get off?

I woke up on the ground dazed and disoriented some time later.  I would like to think I chose to get off, but I will never know.  Helpful neighbors rounded up my horse and got me home.  My wife got me to the emergency room.  The CAT scan revealed a minor bleed on my brain which meant a night at the hospital for observation.  Since then I have been on the mend looking forward to a day in the near future when my neck and shoulder aren’t sore.  Yesterday I returned to my regular routine of feeding my horses and my helmet caught my eye.

As I picked it up I looked at the left side of the helmet to see the damage.  I was looking at the left side because, based on all my injuries, that was the side of my body that hit the ground.  I assumed that my head hit a rock or something which knocked me out.  To my surprise, the left side was unblemished.  The right side, however, sustained significant damage.  While I will never know what really happened, I suspect that I either got stepped on or kicked in the head.

You may be wondering why I am telling this story.  Maybe it is my own process of healing.  One of the most powerful ways of dealing with traumatic events is to share our story.  This helps us both by connecting with others and making sense of what happened so that we might avoid similar situations in the future.  Maybe it is to set the stage over the next couple of weeks so that I can share my own journey as I get back in the saddle and cope with the inevitable fears and anxieties.  I have long held that I would never suggest that my clients do something that I would not be willing to do myself.  This is not the first time I have had the opportunity to put my sport psychology techniques to personal practical use.  I certainly hope that my clients ultimately benefit from my experience.

The primary reason I tell my story today, however, is to simply say thank you to the lovely, loving woman who asked me to wear a helmet so many years ago.  Without her insistence I might not be writing this or anything else today.  Perhaps if you read this and you were like I was 14 years ago, you might reconsider and suffer the minor discomfort and slight inconvenience of wearing a helmet.

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